1. Couples' Faithfulness Survey-Dr. Joan D. Atwood

In this society much attention has been paid to infidelity. Newspapers report on the infidelities of celebrities , politicians, etc. every other day. There are countless researchers exploring the question of why people are unfaithful. There are typologies of infidelity ranging from the one-night-stand to the long-term affair to cyber sex encounters.

This survey is different in that it examines the opposite situation. We are interested in why people are faithful. Given the many opportunities in society to stray, why do people remain faithful to their partner? This information is crucial to us in many different ways. It might change how we raise our children; it could change pre-marital programs; it could influence our mate selection practices, and it could change how we do therapy when infidelity issues arise.

As we know, in many cases, infidelity wreaks havoc on families. Rarely do the affected family members sail easily though an event of infidelity. It can, and often does, devastate each and every family member. The pain and sadness from broken intimacy bonds can create negative memories for most family members that can last a lifetime. Your participation in this survey will shed much light on this process and, in so doing, help many people in this situation.

If you are willing to share your experiences with us, please consider filling out the survey below. The survey is entirely anonymous and no effort can or will be made to identify participants.

Thank you for your assistance in providing an overview of this very important area of family life.

It is very important that you answer all of the questions below by circling, checking or filling in your best answer.

Question Title

* 1. Your Gender:

Question Title

* 2. Your Partner’s Gender:

Question Title

* 3. Your Sexual Orientation:

Question Title

* 4. Present Relationship status:

Question Title

* 5. If you checked other in question #4, please describe.

Question Title

* 6. Number of years in your current relationship?

Question Title

* 7. Number of previous long-term (2+yrs) relationships:

Question Title

* 8. How old are you?

Question Title

* 9. How old is your partner?

Question Title

* 10. What religion are you? Please specify.

Question Title

* 11. How religious would you say you are?

Question Title

* 12. If you checked other in question #11, please describe

Question Title

* 13. What degrees do you hold?

Question Title

* 14. If you checked other in question #13, please describe

Question Title

* 15. What degree(s) does your partner hold?

Question Title

* 16. What is your occupation?

Question Title

* 17. What is your current income?

Question Title

* 18. How many times have you been married?

Question Title

* 19. How many times were you divorced?

Question Title

* 20. If divorced, what were the reason (s)?

Question Title

* 21. How many children do you have?

Question Title

* 22. What is your race?

Question Title

* 23. If you checked other to question # 22, please describe

Question Title

* 24. What is your ethnicity? (nationality)?

Question Title

* 25. Are your parents still together?

Question Title

* 26. If your parents are still together, how long are they together?

Question Title

* 27. If your parents are not together, what happened?

Question Title

* 28. If your parents are divorced, why did they divorce?

Question Title

* 29. If your parents divorced, how old were you when they divorced?

Question Title

* 30. If your parents divorced, what thoughts about marriage/relationships (if any) did you have as a result?

Question Title

* 31. If your parents divorced, thinking back, what feelings did you experience as they/you were in the process of the divorce?

Question Title

* 32. If your parents divorced, how do you think their divorce influenced you (if at all) as an adult?

Question Title

* 33. If your parents did not divorce, and are not together, what is their situation?

Question Title

* 34. If your parents are still together, how would you rate your parent’s marriage?

Question Title

* 35. Why would you give your parent's marriage this rating?

Question Title

* 36. If your parents are still together, what thoughts about marriage/relationships (if any) did you have as a result?

Question Title

* 37. Did either of your parents have an affair or stray that you know of?

Question Title

* 38. If yes, which one?

Question Title

* 39. If one or both of your parents strayed, what were your feelings about it when you found out?

Question Title

* 40. Were you ashamed or embarrassed by his her behavior? Did you understand or empathize with the parent who strayed? Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 41. How flexible (goes with the flow) a person would you say you are? Why?

Question Title

* 42. How open-minded a person would you say you are? Why?

Question Title

* 43. How moral a person would you say you are? Why?

Question Title

* 44. On a scale of 1 thru 10, with 1 thinking about yourself first and 10 always putting others in front of yourself, where would you place yourself? Why?

Question Title

* 45. Do you think marriages or long term partnerships should be exclusively monogamous? Why? Or Why not?

Question Title

* 46. Do you believe everyone strays from their partner at one point or another? Why? Or Why not?

Question Title

* 47. Do you believe certain types of people are more likely to stray than others? Why or Why not?

Question Title

* 48. Do you think a person would stray because there was something wrong “at home”? Please explain.

Question Title

* 49. Do you think it is his or her own individual personality traits that would influence whether a person would stray or not? Please explain.

Question Title

* 50. In your opinion, which of the following would constitute “straying” to you? Circle as many as you like and add others in text box #50 if you feel they apply.

Question Title

* 51. If you would like to add other categories of straying or would like to elaborate on anything in question #50, please do so here.

Question Title

* 52. Do you think it’s ok to chat with members of the opposite sex (or same sex) on the internet in a sexually flirtatious way, as long as you don’t meet them in real life? Why or Why not?

Question Title

* 53. if you were in a monogamous relationship but not engaged or married, would you consider it straying if you had sex with someone other than your partner? Please explain.

Question Title

* 54. If you were in a situation with a very attractive person who was “coming on” to you and you knew there was no way you would get caught, would you have a one-night stand? Why or why not?

Question Title

* 55. Please use your own words and define in your mind how you would define “straying”? Please be explicit.

Question Title

* 56. What traits would a person have if s/he were to stray from his/her partner? Please explain.

Question Title

* 57. What traits would a person have if s/he were NOT to stray from his/her partner? Please explain.

Question Title

* 58. Why do you think men stray more than women? Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 59. In general, how would you rate your present relationship in terms of partner satisfaction?

Question Title

* 60. Why did you give your relationship the rating you did?

Question Title

* 61. How would you rate the sexual part of your relationship?

Question Title

* 62. Why did you give your sexual relationship the rating you did?

Question Title

* 63. How would you describe your sense of loyalty that you have for your current partner?

Question Title

* 64. Why did you give your sense of loyalty this rating?

Question Title

* 65. How would you describe your sense of commitment to your current partner?

Question Title

* 66. Why did you give your sense of commitment this rating?

Question Title

* 67. How do you rate your inner will power, given you find yourself in a very sexually tempting situation? Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 68. Have you been faithful to your partner?

Question Title

* 69. Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 70. Have you ever strayed from your partner?

Question Title

* 71. Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 72. How many long term relationships (over a year) have you been in prior to the current one?

Question Title

* 73. What are some of the reasons they ended? Please be specific.

Question Title

* 74. Have you ever strayed in any of those relationships?

Question Title

* 75. Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 76. If you did not stray, what kept you from straying? Elaborate.

Question Title

* 77. What thoughts did you have at that time—thoughts that kept you from straying?

Question Title

* 78. If you have strayed in a relationship (any relationship), what can you remember about your thoughts when you first thought that straying was an option.

Question Title

* 79. If you did stray, what thoughts did you have at the time? Please elaborate.

Question Title

* 80. If you have not strayed, what traits do you think you have that kept you from straying in a relationship?

Question Title

* 81. Have you ever been in a sexually tempting situation where you thought about straying from your current partner? Elaborate.

Question Title

* 82. If you have thought about it at one time or another, what was the internal monologue you had with yourself to convince yourself why you should or should not stray from your current partner?

Question Title

* 83. Please tell us any other information that you feel would be pertinent to why people would remain faithful in their relationship.

Question Title

* 84. Thank you for your participation in this very important research. Please write any comments below.

Question Title

* 85. If you would like to see a copy of the results, please write your name and address in this box. Please note that there is no way that your name and address could be matched with your answers. Your answers are 100% confidential regardless of whether you leave your name and address or not. Thank you for your participation.
Dr. Joan D. Atwood

T