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* 1. While someone is talking I plan how I'm going to respond.

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* 2. While someone is talking I keep eye contact with the speaker.

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* 3. While someone is talking I take notes as appropriate.

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* 4. While someone is talking I notice the feeling behind the words.

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* 5. While someone is talking I find myself thinking about other things while the person is talking.

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* 6. While someone is talking I face the person who is talking.

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* 7. While someone is talking I watch for significant body language (expressions, gestures).

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* 8. While someone is talking I control fidgeting or other distracting habits.

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* 9. While someone is talking I interrupt the speaker to make a point.

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* 10. While someone is talking I am distracted by other demands on my time.

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* 11. While someone is talking I listen to the message without immediately judging or evaluating it.

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* 12. While someone is talking I ask questions to get more information and encourage the speaker to continue.

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* 13. While someone is talking I repeat in my own words what I've just heard to ensure understanding.